O.J. Sicko Hates
"Inhale the cigar smoke"
Oh man I love this country, I love this world, I love the media, I love Kenneth Starr, I love the prez. Agreed the department of Justice can be pretty hard on serial killers like me, sending me to the slammer forever, but they sure as hell know how to entertain the psychos in here. Releasing some sleazy porn which we usually only get to read after some very heavy bargaining and doing favors for guards.
As a sexcrazed serial rapist and killer I have been waiting for some fresh action. I'd never expected the President to bring it to me. This man is my hero! If I ever grow up and get out of here I think I would like to take a shot at the presidency myself. From what I understand he gets fresh interns every few months or so and with a bit of luck a president can have his say in which are allowed to smoke the Presidential cigar - and I sure as hell don't mind if she inhales. In fact I prefer it!
I never thought the president would teach me a trick or two about adultery. I never did know a blowjob isn't really sex. Or that you could use a cigar just as easy as a dildo and still smoke it when it's a bit damp. And the way he fooled that girl that he cared about her, it's great stuff. Hope they make a feature movie about it soon, because I'd like to have some a better visual with this. They should trade in that Lewinsky woman for someone better looking. I don't know how he does it but the President always seems to end up with hippos instead of some really beautiful girls. I guess he's more of a lip and big mouth man. I like my dreamgirls a bit slimmer.
Oh well, until the movie comes out I'll entertain myself with the complete report and the saucy bits from the video interviews. That'll keep me going for the coming months. And the great thing is, I don't have to bargain for it; it's all in the papers. Thank you Kenneth, thank you Bill.