O.J. Sicko Hates
You might think I've done all my killing because I had a bad childhood. Well forget it, I had a wonderful childhood. My parents were great, my mother made a living as a nurse who actively practiced euthanasia on lots of her patients, by either poisoning, strangling, drugging or just taking them off the life support system. She did get caught when I was very young, but she fully supported me whenever I went to visit her in prison. So I was raised by my father in the whorehouse he ran. He not only raised me, he tought me well, many times he took me to the fights and sometimes we even went stealing on a saturday night.
At school I was a bit of rascal, terrorising everyone around me, stealing from the wealthy as well as the poor and keeping everything myself. I had never trouble with my grades, it took some convincing with some teachers, especially if they didn't know who I was because I hadn't attended their class for a full year, but when my father had talked some common sense in to them I got a nice high grade so I could go on with my studies.
Not that I learned much at school though. I learned on the street. I know how to open every lock, I can skin a cat while it stays alive, I could already hold my liquor at the age of six, I smoked when I was four, I did my first killing when I was fifteen. Ah, those were the days.
But recently I start to wonder if my childhood couldn't have been better. I've been reading the newspaper and I've become mighty jealous about those kids in Nebraska and Texas. I mean they do have some advantage living in the land of the free, being allowed to carry guns and use them. Oh, I wish I had been trained to kill at such and early age, to learn to fight the UN troops with AK-47's. I'm sure my time at school would have been a lot better. Imagine that, being tought to shoot, get into some fight with kids and teachers at school and then use them as target practice on the playground. Shooting at them while they try to hide behind the swing and seesaw, trying to run away from the bullets. The thrill of shooting innocent victims.
Best thing of it all is you get the chance to do it a second time! It might seem inconvenient that they will lock you up for such a long time at an early age, but prison can be the best school of all. If you fight, you can become a man in here! So they do lock you up for a few years, but you learn a lot about your fellow assassins and their techniques. And then you get out again, you can do it all over again as a big boy.
Oh man, I wish I was raised in Arizona.