Does anyone out there remember how I asked last time if someone could do something about those Mclarens. I must have been heart, because I didn't see Coulthard or Hakinnen winning this time. It's not that I don't think Mika deserves it, but I was a little afraid it was going to be the most boring season of the century along with 1988 (also those bloody Mclarens).
'Jos, the biggest loser this year.'
Not everything can be good though, now can it, because of that, I'm going to give you a list of the biggest fuck-ups from the race. Lets start with the biggest of them all. You guessed right it's… Coulthard. What the hell was that Scot doing? The only thing I could think of was that he was wearing his kilt, and because he wasn't wearing any underwear underneath (no one wears underwear underneath their kilts, do they?), his private parts got a bit undercooled. This must have pissed him off so badly that he wanted to leave the race as quickly as possible. It didn't work after all, but he never seemed to give up trying. Better luck next time, Davey!
Fuck up number two, I almost do not dare say is Alesi. "You know what, I'll just go on track during the practice to hit my teammate Herbert. Not on purpose, but just because I'm still a little sleepy!. Alesi, please wake up! You may be one of the most gorgeous guys on the track, but it's mistakes like this we can't forget.
Fuck up number three, Demon Damon, was outqualified for the third straight race by the other Schumi, his teammate Ralf which isn't bad for an ex world champion! If that wasn't enough, he tried to mount Herbert doggy style, but Johnny, the prude that he is, wouldn't have any of it. Result Johnny left bleeding at the side of the track and Damon left to finish the race in another embarrassing position
No worries though, you'll never be such a loser as our Dutch pride. Maybe you don't know who I'm talking about, so I'll give you one tip; most of the time he was either stuck in the gravel trap, or crashing into other people. You see! Now you know who it is…. Jos Verstappen. He's not driving this year but beware, danger is looking around the corner, since he's probably going to be the test driver for Benetton. Please, please let Wurz or Fischi finish the season without problems. Before you know it the master of disaster will be back.
Enough about fuck-ups, I'm going to be very self-involved right know. I defeated the other four girls because I came closest to the result for the Grand Prix. Maybe the fact that I made my bet with my head instead of my feelings had something to do with it. So here it comes, my bet of the season. I put M. Schumi, first, Irvine second, Hakkinen third, Fischi fourth, Villeneuve fifth and Coulthard sixth. It doesn't looks like much, but you should have seen the lists of the other girls. Although I won, I feel very ashamed for putting Schumi first. I think next time I'll rely on my feelings again so that I can sleep soundly afterwards.
The next article will be about San Marino and will include, with a little bit of luck, a cute picture of Jacques with his daddy, the legendary Gilles Villeneuve.